The Attempted Suicide : Inspirational Fiction Story By Dike Chidiebere Mark-Anthony (Must Read)
I wasn’t there my mind had wandered off into thoughts. But I could still hear the pastor’s voice echoing from the background like a distant and distinct chatter.
It was one of those Sundays, I was catholic but I was invited by my friend to RCCG student campus fellowship, I had to oblige for some reasons.
I was really down and I think it was obvious, so she invited me here to make me feel better.
I had been depressed for quite long. I had become so dull and pale. I lost reason for life. I thought to myself, “what’s the essence, no one cares about me, no gets to understand me, nobody feels me, academically, am lost in failure, I have been wallowing in those negative thoughts,
It always happens that why doesn’t it? I had attended all sorts of therapy in secret without any one including my parents having any knowledge of it. I had listened to lots of motivational speeches.
Still yet nothing to sustain me to keep up with the struggle. After years of hard work, perseverance and consistency. All the stress I had to pass through. All the extra effort I had put on.
All the midnight candles burnt, yet I was still kicked out of the department. I was among those given the red cord. My dreams of becoming a renowned physiotherapist, shambled.
I was not a laughing stuck. I have had enough, I thought to myself. I am doing this no more. I decided to take my life after service that day;
I had already mapped out my suicidal plan in my mind,I can’t take it no more
:EZE! EZE!,…………… Is all I heard, as someone tap me, seems he’s not here”. That was the pastor calling out and simultaneously bringing me back from my semi unconsciousness
He instructed that I see him after services.
After service, I met the pastor, he tried counseling me. He tried to give me Succor. I decided to preferred as if I had taken his advice.
But he was smarter, he had sent three of his assistants to follow me home without my knowledge.
As I walked home, I had already willed all the money I had left to my friend, the only one left behind. I sent it all to her.
I lived in a one bedroom apartment few metres away from school in a very isolated area.
I had deliberately chosen this place in particular because of its tranquil atmosphere. I could relax after the day’s work and also have peace here.
But now, it become the perfect avenue for SUICIDE. I still hadn’t find out that I was being followed. I was so busy with my thoughts to notice.
I went into my room. I had all the ‘necessary’ tools to carry out the act. I was like a patient on life support whose sponsors were finally tried of the being ability. I suffered from severe brain stress from over thinking.
After much ado, I brought out a 10mm thick rope from my closet. I pushed my table to the centre of the room where the ceiling far as a located to enable me reach the fan which was high up in the ceiling.
I tied the rope tightly; just enough to go into my neck. I tied the rope to the fan and hung it on my neck. Then I hesitated I thought about my life so far.
The more I thought, the more reason I had to take my life without much delay, I slowly pulled myself off the table I had used to support myself.
Each step I took, took me one step to unconsciousness. Then just like lightening I felt a force immediately hold me. I thought it was a supernatural being, I had always heard of. I went into unconsciousness.
The next time I opened my eyes, my heard was beating, I thought I had finally arrived in the Dime places, hades,. As I slowly opened my eyes, all I could see was the pastor’s assistant jumping , praying, sweating shaking his Bible as he melt away in prayers. I closed my eyes again and went into DELIRIUM.
The next time I became conscious, I was in a hospital with my mum. She had rushed to school the very moment she heard of the incident, she was in dears all over.
She kept on asking me why I thought of that, she was disappointed I was passing through all this trauma without her knowledge. “you know you’re all I have left after you dad, your sisters are all married.
You’re my only son my only treasure on the earth …..” she said, fears in a sober and cracking voice. I was the only son.
My dad had returned as a lecturer. All their hopes rested on me as the only son to take into along the family name.
they had work in school. Yet, I huned out a disappointment. This was my mindset after the results were released.
But when my dad heard this , he smiled softly, and said “well, failures will surely come we didn’t expect this from you but I understand. We, who are the ones paying your fees never complained through you never informed us.
At a point in my youth, I too through of this but …..” he continued counseling me. Giving me more and more encouraging words.
This came as a surprise because I knew my dad’s type of person. He always detested failure in academics.
This development brought into me a sudden force to strive on. My dad, who I respect more than anything else, still believed in me.
Yes, my dreams of been a physiotherapist were all gone. But I now knew that I could still make a change.
When I got back myself, after weeks of intense watch and relaxation; one could say sedentary lifestyle, I went back to the faculty and requested that I be given a letter to go the Department of molecular Genetics.
Till I saw a circular signed by the provost of the college, that due to the massive failure, those who were able to pass at least 1 out of 3, can still be allowed to step down and try again following year.
My Joy knew no bounds, I felt tears trickle down from my eyes. Those were tears of Joy.
Meet the inspirational Writer
Dike Chidiebere Mark-Anthony
Undergraduate Student At The University of Nigeria, Nsukka